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7th Year Train Ride

Masquerading Marauders Murdered My Mind With Copied Clichéd Crap

7th Year Train Ride

Needles/Spork

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June 7th, 2006

Hello all, I'm not really all that new here, but this is my first real post. So...Hi! I'm Kate. I love Lily/James fics, obviously, or I wouldn't be here. I'm glad there's somewhere to snark about the travesties that are some Marauder fanfics. You know, the ones that make your eyes bleed. 

So. I'm going to put myself out there and rant. Whether you agree or not, I find these things very trying. If you will...
Hello, it's not very important that I've only just joined. Obviously that is a given at this point as no one has ever heard of my screen name!
Anyway, I have quite a bit to rant about, as there are some whoppers out there. Unfortunately, I have got caught up in the issued "Prove Sarah Wrong" Challenge.
Actually, I'm not looking to prove anyone wrong. I completely agree that the whole ball scenario is absolute hogwash! But that outrage is for another time.
At the moment, all I have to contribute to this fantastic site is a short one-shot I wrote earlier, in which Lily goes to a ball...of sorts. Perhaps these things can work, when treated with extreme caution and as much mockery as possible?
I promise a rant soon (so long as I'm allowed, of course), but for the moment:

Title: The Hallucinogenic Daydreams of an Over-Heated Young Witch
Summary: Heat exhaustion never was a very pleasant thing...especially in the case of Lily Evans.

And I'm not good with all of those LJ cut type things as it's been a while since I have been on Livejournal, so here is the link to FanFic.


http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2978235/1/

June 5th, 2006

Hey all, I’m Molly.

 

I’m relatively new to actually writing fanfic, and I’m rather ashamed to admit that I committed a pathetically absurd amount of complete and total, utterly disgusting cannon rape.

 

Really. It was terrible.

 

I took a short break for fanfiction, then after a year, came back. I re-read my stories, looked over my favorites list, and promptly shot myself in the face.

 

My stories were deleted immediately, and I almost went to counseling, not believing the sins I had committed against the human race.

 

I’d attempted a few more stories here and there, but they were all deleted because I’m such a lazy arse and couldn’t update. Or think of original ideas. Or stop raping.

 

Now I’ve found that one-shots are my calling. I’m pretty proud of the few I’ve got up, and I’m happy to say that they are completely free of any kind of terrible cliché.

 

But seriously. How hard is it to find a good story?

 

Now, I’ve never really ranted before, but here you go.

June 4th, 2006

Okay, I’m going to put myself under serious danger here and rant about a particular annoying plot of a fanfic that annoys me to no end, but is tremendously popular, and one which many members of this community may read over at FF.net and worship (for far-fetched reasons…)

The story I’m picking over: The Secrète Flower, by Y. Lily

*ducks hurled knitting needles*

A LJ cut makes my rant appear longer than it actually is...click me, you know you want to...Collapse )

June 1st, 2006

Two entries ago, my attentions were caught by this hideous waste of space...

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2888879/2/

It was recced to us on this lovely community by the wonderful meringue_kiss and upon reading it, the temptation to spork it was too great to bear. So I decided I would. Then an even better idea occured to me and I asked my friend cgn to co-spork. So she decided she would. So what we have here is our first ever joint sporking. I don't think any more introductory words are needed, do you? 

Bring on the knitting needles...


May 28th, 2006

Banners!

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Throw Rocks
We have almost thirty members! Huzzah! I only realized this today, but it still made me quite giddy. :) In honor of this, here are some crappy banners so you can spread the love. Now in different sizes!



May 27th, 2006

Time to time.

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james
So I have been planning out a rant for a while. Though I would like to start out by saying that I am not an author. I read a lot of fan fiction, but have no imagination to write it myself. So I want to make it clear that while I have opinions they are coming strictly from a readers perspective.
Read more...Collapse )

Now there are other things that bother me about Lily and James stories, but I will save those for another rant. I hope this made sense I really don't have a chance to do any editing on it.

May 26th, 2006

Ah, yes.

WARNING: Before reading ahead, you should be informed that my ranting skills are rather undeveloped and I'm not very good at being funny. That being said, let the hilarity rant begin.

I suppose fics that portray Lily as a slut go into the Mary-Sue category, but I was looking for some good fics to read and found these:

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2956547/1/

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2954744/1/


http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2888879/2/

I'm finding an extraordinarily large number of fics that either include

a) a slutty Lily

b) a loner Lily who leaves for one year and comes back with a complete makeover

I found the first fic extremely funny (not for the reasons that the author was aiming for) and the rest of them just annoyed me. To me, it's quite clear that the Lily's that they have portrayed are just reflections of what they want to be like.

The third one, I found interesting... (not in the best way possible) While I can see how some people would have liked that story, I find it still rather wannabe-ish. And I just can't get over the fact that in this fic, Lily and James TEXTED each other on the Hogwarts Express. THROUGH THEIR CELL PHONES.

Mmhmm. Sorry for the whole time-wasting aspect of this post... I just needed to rant about these fics.

-Annie

May 24th, 2006

Just add water and stir!

 

Greetings, my fellow passengers. I am your other co-mod, often referred to as vea. You’ve seen Sarah rant, and while I fear I cannot live up to her wonderful mocking abilities, I shall make a [rather poor] effort.

 

I debated for some time over which cliché I despise the most, and I’ve decided to cover that horrendously over-popular tool of Instant!Love. In fact, I’ve prepared a short fic to show you what this might entail, and so it is with great pleasure that I present to you The Sweaty Quaffle.

 

Please keep in mind I was not in my right mind when I wrote this, and, in fact, by writing it I’ve lost a bit of my soul. If you find it, there’s a forty-two cent reward. Call now!

 

-----------------------

And thus concludes my first and very belated rant. I had a lot of this done before, but I swore an update elsewhere first, so there you go. Not nearly as funny as Sarah’s, but that’s true about everything, I believe.

 

</endrant>

 

 

 

 

May 9th, 2006

Well. Now you've recovered from my awful alliteration (^_^)....
I've just had the 'pleasure' of reading a fic mentioned by ghostofbambi in a previous post. It actually made me want to projectile vomit onto my computer screen in order to cover it up. It was that bad.
However, I doubt that my family would appreciate that too much so instead I will channel my disgust into a rant (as the community seems to be a little short on posts?).

So here we go:


And that is my very first rant, so enjoy (and agree(har subtle subliminal message there!)).






Myself and my lovely co-managing friend, cgn, recently received an e-mail from a girl called Raven, who brought to our attention this fic. As we have both not posted in this for a while, I thought I would post it.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2781818/1/

I have a feeling that this fic is going to inspire a lot of rantage from myself. Read and enjoy, it certainly gave me a good laugh. In fact, if the story doesn't make you laugh, the reviews certainly will....

Another thing. cgn is currently working on another rant, which will focus on the morbidly disgusting topic of Instant!Love. She's made a very nice little parody fic to go with it... Expect it to be up soon enough. As for me, I am currently deciding between OC's and their relationships with the other Marauders or a rant about a certain type of OCC!Lily. We all know how many OCC!Lilys there are, so there will be plenty of rantage to be done about it...

I also had a rather interesting idea for a parody fic about shared Head Dorms....

And lastly... We need more people to post on this!!

April 26th, 2006

I joined this community because - although I don't agree with some of your tactics as I see them presented in the profile - it seems that you bring up some interesting subjects of discussion. Also, because you are obviously in favour of promoting good fanfic and eliminating bad fanfic, which is a noble cause indeed ;)

I have a subject for discussion that I think you'd find interesting.

An essay of sorts: The release in writing fanficCollapse )

I await your comments.
See ya,
Anna.

one shot

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aiden
Recently joined. *waves* Hello there. Anyway, here is my poor attempt at the Prove Sarah Wrong Challenge. Feel free to kick me out of the community if it sucks niffler balls.

Title: Starting anew
Author: timetraveled
Rating: PG13 (just to be safe)
Genre: Humour/Romance/Parody
Summary: A one shot in which James is rejected yet again, but somehow lands himself dancing with Lily Evans and nearly killing her with a hip shake (not to be confused with a milkshake).

Starting anew...Collapse )

OneShot

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Throw Rocks
A funny thing happened on the way to the forum...

I apparently have the magical ability to respond to challenges before they're posted.

Title: Sans Armor
Author: cgn
Rating: PG
Genre: Romance/Parody
Summary: James has a plan. Everyone tells him it’s a bad idea. And it really is. He does it anyway. [one-shot]

(Sans Armor)

April 25th, 2006

I begin what I hope is to be a barrage of ranting with an editorial on one of my favorite subjects, the cliché.
 
We will, of course, be mutilating many, many different clichés within this community, so never fear; your favorite topics will be covered. I would also like to remind our lovely members that if they feel like posting a rant, they should fire away.
 
On this particular occasion, I would like to start off with my pet peeve, the cliché that makes me want to take a bath with a plugged-in toaster, the cliché that never fails to make the very hairs on the back of my neck stand up in horror:


~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~


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April 22nd, 2006

I must delay all welcomes, as there is an important warning that needs to be given. For the good of your health, we suggest you read on...

There is a disease, fellow passengers, a disease which is currently spreading like wildfire throughout the internet. It infects the easily influenced and dimwitted, is terrifyingly contagious, seemingly untreatable, and its effects are devastating. Even those with proper immunization cannot escape the disenchantment and nausea caused by simply coming into contact with any one of the many hapless victims that this illness has claimed the sanity of.

This disease has a name:

Bad fanfiction.

This disease takes many forms, but there is one in particular that we are worried about: all fics pertaining to the MWPP era, or more specifically, Lily/James.

Common symptoms of bad L/J fanfiction may include some or all of the following:

OCCness: For example.. Playboy!Sirius, Prudish!Lily, Victimized!James, Bedwetting!Peter, Wherethehellishe!Peter, Selfharming!James, ClosetHomosexual!Remus, ClosetHomosexual!Sirius, ClosetHomosexual!Remus and ClosetHomosexual!Sirius having ClosetHomosexual!Relations in a closet... so on, so forth..

Poor story development: For example.. Lily hates James, Lily falls over, James catches Lily, James says something sweet to Lily, Lily comes to realize her deep and meaningful adoration for James within the space of a nanosecond.

Cliches: For example.. Murdered parents, Masquerade balls, Lily gets made over, bets gone wrong, locked in a closet together (maybe they could get locked in with ClosetHomosexual!Remus and ClosetHomosexual!Sirius? You never know what those crazy kids come up with these days!), they switch bodies... etc... etc

This must be stopped! Our cherished Marauders and the lovely Miss Evans are being shamelessly canon raped by these authors! We will not tolerate it any longer, and we call upon the many, many other good and intelligent readers out there (and we know you are out there) to join us in our stand against this treachery.

If you are still wondering what exactly we will be using this community for, this is the lowdown.

We will be posting our views on each and every 'symptom' listed, plus many more. We will be creating various parodies of James/Lily fics. We will be searching for the worst examples of ficcage we can find, and tearing them to shreds for your amusement. If you don't agree with our opinions, feel free to tell us, but it won't change the fact that we're right ,and we will go out of our way to prove it.

And thus begins the seventh year train ride. We remind you that refreshments are available, running in the corridors is dangerous, and travel sickness bags are in the overhead compartment.

We hope you enjoy it.

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